No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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