Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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