i just wanna soil my oats bro
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
