the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize