I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
