Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
