i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
