You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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