Yo dont text me then not text me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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