Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
