Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
someone owes me an orgasm
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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