there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
