Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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