you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
