Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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