Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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