It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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