I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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