so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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