Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
