You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
