there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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