i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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