you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
