Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
