Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
