would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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