no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
did i just pee glitter
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
