So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
