I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You're like the curious george of whores
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
