Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
