??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you would pick up someone in the library
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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