I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Randomize
