If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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