So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
