Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
