handjob tips. give me some.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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