i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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