its not stalking. its research.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
