last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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