Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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