Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
