i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
