i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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