There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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