woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize