Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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