Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
