Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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