This girl is more easily done than said...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
