absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
