So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
