oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
