they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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