A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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