so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
