It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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