In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
