I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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