I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
