dude i'm inner monologue high
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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