i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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