I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
