we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
