this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
