Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
