when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
