the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
